A few years ago someone I know had an affair with a male superior at work. She intended for it to be as secret as possible. Even though she insists she had the affair out of fear, her co-workers did not believed. The man did his best, according to her to make others in the office aware of their relationship. He was and still is a married man. In Nigeria affairs are rife, but the hammer falls on the woman for being greedy, a loose woman, a homewrecker or a too ambitious woman. The man was the ultimate bully because he started doing his best to leave clues about their affair when he noticed she was about to leave him. For years she was shamed for the ‘mistake’ and he walked free with a slew of apologists and the burden of uprightness left solely on the shoulder of the woman.

Katie Hill and other women being shamed or punished for vulnerability is a reminder that its still a mans world but conversations like this also inform that things are changing.